Why do I feel threatened?

Recently I’ve had a couple of recent penny dropping,  AHA revelations….   that I think are going to have a massive impact.   Neither of them are ideas that were completely new to me, but, suddenly, somehow it clicked that this is where I should be focusing my energies. So in this post I will…

Focusing my Qi

Qi – Chinese for spiritual Energy I’m reading a book with my son set in Ancient China about dragons and dragon keepers.  There is a lot in it about Qi and focusing your qi…  in the book, once she has practised and learned, focusing her Qi gives her magical and unnatural powers, but qi is…

When?

Tears.  Tears for absolutely no reason. When?  When will my life and my head feel calm and relaxed?  When will I feel like I’ve got it all together?  When will I feel at peace with myself and my life.  When will every day not be such a struggle?  When will I go to bed happy…

Looking Forward to Life

For far too long I have just been trudging through, trying to get through each day.  Partly because I feel like I have so little control over what goes on in my day, my creative and awesome parent plans are always thwarted by my children, who always have other things that they want to do…

A difficult weekend

It’s been a difficult weekend.  Which is a bit of a shock and disappointment because I really thought that I was getting a lot better.   I had plans to write a post about my improved mental health, and another about how, often now in my 3 person family, it feels like we’re all just…

Positivity

So following my recent post ‘believing in myself,’  I’ve been thinking about the importance of focusing on the things that I’m getting right as a parent.  The parenting moments that I am proud of.  The things that make me feel good about myself as a parent. My children’s daily tears, whinges, whines and accusations, they…

This Feeling

what is this feeling?  It’s not happy, but its not sad….   maybe discontented….   glass half full….   just not there yet.   I’m just, still not where I want to be.  I’m not really sure anymore where I do want to be. Its a feeling of dissatisfaction and unmet needs.  But I have…

Believing in Myself

Well today was a pretty rough day….   As I was feeding my two year old to sleep, feeling crap and wondering about whether or not I should blog about today…   I really felt that it would just be too painful…..   I could go into the details of how the tension built up,…

Time Slipping Away….

I’ve always struggled with the sadness of time slipping away from me…..     As a child I was aware that my time as a child was drifting away, and that one day it would be all gone….   and then as a teenager and young adult.  I always want to hold on to things,…

I write therefore I am

Seriously…    I still have no readers…  HEEELLLOOOOO!!!  Is there anybody out there??? I just feel like writing tonight, even though I don’t really have anything in particular to say.  And even though I have several unfinished posts waiting to be finished….   that just seems like too much work….  so here I am writing…

a revelation about anxiety

I think that maybe my anxiety is me running away from pain, running away from judgement, running away from life.   I run because I’m so afraid of pain, I’m so afraid of messing up,  I’m so afraid of judgement (from myself and others), and as a result I am almost always anxious…   and…