Why do I feel threatened?

Recently I’ve had a couple of recent penny dropping,  AHA revelations….   that I think are going to have a massive impact.   Neither of them are ideas that were completely new to me, but, suddenly, somehow it clicked that this is where I should be focusing my energies.

So in this post I will talk about the first.  If you’ve read any amount of posts on this blog, you’ll know that I am trying to stop yelling and exploding at my kids when I get frustrated or can’t handle a situation.  Instead of focusing on, how I can get my kids to co-operate, and, why they don’t respect me,  If I am in such a state that I am yelling or feel like I want to be yelling, then the question I need to be asking myself is “Why do I feel threatened right now?”

Forget about the kids for a moment, and just think about and look after my own emotional state.  Why do I feel threatened? What is actually at stake?  If I just take a step back, is it really that bad?  I think I have some issues that need to be dealt with that are causing me to feel so threatened so easily. So I’m  starting to take the times when I am yelling (or at the brink of it) as opportunities to assess and nurture my emotional state…   If I focus on looking after myself, rather than trying to control the kids,  I can reassure myself,  and calm myself down.   Once I’ve calmed down,  chances are I will be able to deal with the situation relatively easily and effectively.

I don’t actually have to worry about what the kids do or don’t do really….   all that I am responsible for is ME, what I do and how I respond to their behaviour.  Which is why I need to focus on myself and looking after my own emotional state, so that I can respond lovingly and thoughtfully.

My second revelation, is (just as the conscious parenters have been chanting all along) ‘It’s all about the relationship!!’  which I will write about in my next post!

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