It’s all about the relationship

Recently I’ve signed up for a couple of online dating sites.  And on these sites I’ve had to answer questions and describe what kind of a partner I would be…   And of course I answered bragging about how I really care and work hard at a relationship, and want to be close to my partner…  etc etc

Which got me thinking about my kids, and the kind of relationship I have with them.  As embarrassed and ashamed as I am to admit this, I feel that somewhere along the line I forgot that it was a relationship, and I just saw it all as, a job, clients to keep happy, a project to complete, a puzzle to solve. Sure,  I keep thinking how I should be talking to them more,  and giving them attention and spending time with them, for the sake of their development and well being, and also because they’re so cute and lovely right now, and I need to enjoy them now because one day they will grow up and I’ll barely see them.  I’ve always been extremely conscious of wanting to seize and cherish the time that I have with them now …..   but somehow I forgot that it is all about OUR RELATIONSHIP.   Being a good mum is not just about doing all the things a good mum should do.  And making the most of my time with my kids is not just about soaking up and savouring those adorable and beautiful moments that are slowly (and tragically) slipping through my fingers.  It’s about building and nurturing a relationship that will last forever.  A relationship:  the connection or way in which two people connect.  Telling them stories and funny anecdotes, just because…  because I want to and because I think they will find them amusing.  Having a giggle together about something.  Checking in with how they are feeling. Having tickle fights, not because I know its good for the kids, but because I want to, because I want to be close to them, and I want to grow the relationship. Doing things not because I should, or because my kids want me to, but because I want to feel close and connected to them.  My relationship with my kids needs the same kind of work and nurturance as a relationship with partner.

I have heard Lori Petro talk about this over and over, but still somehow I missed it!!   Anyway…   I’ve got it now.   And I plan to make the most of it!!

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