Focusing my Qi

Qi – Chinese for spiritual Energy

I’m reading a book with my son set in Ancient China about dragons and dragon keepers.  There is a lot in it about Qi and focusing your qi…  in the book, once she has practised and learned, focusing her Qi gives her magical and unnatural powers, but qi is a real thing in Chinese wisdom, that can be …  harnessed by real people, to achieve things that they perhaps thought were out of reach.   So ofcourse,  I’m going to try and use this philosophy to help me be a more peaceful parent.

The book talks about how it is easy to focus one’s qi when you are angry…  (but angry qi can be dangerous…  thus my angry outbursts).   I thought this was interesting in relation to my ex-husband.   (If you haven’t read much of my blog, my ex husband is a narcissist, who pushed my buttons on purpose and then laughed at me or took the moral high road when I got angry and upset.)  I used to yell at him when I got frustrated in arguments, but eventually I learnt that silence and ignoring him were my best weapons.   And in my anger I was able to respond with silence.  It wasn’t because I was really calm and not bothered by what he was saying, the insults, the threats  etc…   my angry qi was focused on attacking him with silence.   Which is why this isn’t a skill that I can use in my attempts at peaceful parenting.   With my children,  I’m trying really hard to be gentle and not ‘attack’ them in anyway.  The only problem is,   when I find that I lose control of the situation, and I lose all confidence in my ability to handle the situation,   and I am fearful that my parenting is not good enough, maybe my kids are going to grow up to be bad people or unhappy people, all because I couldn’t parent them well enough,  I simply explode because I can’t handle it anymore and I want to escape.

In the story that I’m reading the girl must learn to harness and summon her qi without being angry.   I’m trying to visualise harnessing energy from all of my emotions ………..   and going into a peaceful place in my mind where I calmly make decisions  rather than simply reacting to situations.

I can do this.

I’m not really done with this topic, but must go to bed…   stay tuned!

 

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