For far too long I have just been trudging through, trying to get through each day. Partly because I feel like I have so little control over what goes on in my day, my creative and awesome parent plans are always thwarted by my children, who always have other things that they want to do and want me to do…. I often start out my weekend, thinking that we might do some really cool thing together, like baking or re-organising the kids room, or gardening and talking about how things grow, or some major collaborative craft project. But then the weekend comes, and by 9am I already feel like I am completely loosing the plot, and everything seems like far too much effort. A bit later, by around 12, I feel like I could maybe handle a craft project or some other fun activity. But then I realise that everyone is hungry and needs lunch, and I have no idea what we’re going to eat for lunch. Then by the time lunch is done, I’m exhausted and it seems too late in the day to start anything, because pretty soon I’ll have to get dinner ready. Every day just becomes about getting through the day.
While there may well be some strategies that I can work on to enable big craft projects and fun activities to actually happen sometimes, the point I want to make here, is that life can be fun anyway, even if I never get to do those big things.
More than anything, I think what I need to change is my attitude. I need to look forward to things in my life. Little things that happen everyday. I can look forward to reading a good book to my son in the evening. I can look forward to breakfast and dinner with my kids. I can look forward to cuddling my 2 year old. I can look forward to having a dance work out in my lounge room. I can look forward to knitting as I watch my kids play. I need to look forward to my life and not just put up with it.
I want to wake up, excited about my day. I want to feel like these are the best days of my life, because they should be. I have my two beautiful kids who I am privileged to be raising and caring for, I am lucky to have loving family support so near by. I have so many good things in my life. I should be waking up excited to live my life. I’m going to make a concious effort to start thinking in this way. I will try to remember to post updates on how it goes!