I’ve always struggled with the sadness of time slipping away from me….. As a child I was aware that my time as a child was drifting away, and that one day it would be all gone…. and then as a teenager and young adult. I always want to hold on to things, time and experiences that are fleeting and impossible to hold onto, and I feel like I am in a constant state of mourning of time and preciousness that I have lost or am about to loose. And now I have 2 children who just keep growing and growing and growing while life happens and crazy things go on that keep me busy busy busy… and then I turn around and I want to cry because I feel like I’ve somehow missed a whole stage of their life (even though I was right there). I feel like I’m always busy and I need to slow down and be present and just enjoy and savour every moment with my kids at every stage…. Although this is a great sentiment (which I seem to struggle to actually put into action) actually, I don’t know if it would really help me feel all that much better about the time passing anyway. The time will still pass, they will still get bigger….. they will still stop being the cute chubby little babies that they are now……….
As I was pondering on this today, the conclusion I came to was this:
Although it is important to try to be present and savour the moment, I think that more than the fleeting moments, I need to treasure and focus on my relationship and connection with each child. The moments will pass…. and that is ok. That is life. There is no way around it. But our connection and relationship is something that will last, and we can build on and work on for our entire lifetime. I can’t hold on to beautiful moments and, and the beautiful stages of life. But I can hold onto our relationship. And by focusing on relationships, by default I should be making the most of the current moment also?