Rambly trains of thought…..

In three years time my son will be in high school….   seriously….?  I still can’t get over the fact that he’s not a cuddly bubbly bouncy toddler any more!!

The years are just flying by.

I have a window of opportunity.   A very small window.

If I blink I will miss it.

I have to not miss it.

I have to get this right.

This is my only chance…..

I need to work really really hard…  to make sure I am teaching him all the things I want to teach him, and helping him to be strong and stable …..   with respect for himself and others……   etc etc…..   there is so much I want to teach him.

But I need to not freak out.  Freaking out is the worst thing I can do….  that won’t teach him anything.   I need to set a good example.   I need to connect more with him and gain more trust.   I need to be able to talk to him more……….      and everything.  So many things that I have to do…   so many things that I have to get right.

Deep breaths….    I can do this.

First thing is first….   which is taking care of myself (not over-indulging myself but taking proper care of myself)

I feel like perhaps I should write an action plan….  but that is likely to set me up for failure, which will make me frustrated and make it all go bad…

I think, I just need to keep this in my mind….   and really focus on my son.  Focus on loving him, focus on being his mentor.

Somehow I need to do all this and still chill….   I’m prone to getting stressed and freaked out and yell.  Which is not good.  Its really not good.

How can I be more chilled?  Is there something that I can let go of, that will make me chilled?  Is it my fear failure?  (Ironically) my fear of messing up my kids….   How can I relax about that, but still do the very best possible job I can do?   That’s not something I can just let go of, because I want to keep striving to be a better parent….

I’m going to leave this here for now….   Maybe something will come to me, and I’ll put it in the comments.



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