In three years time my son will be in high school…. seriously….? I still can’t get over the fact that he’s not a cuddly bubbly bouncy toddler any more!!
The years are just flying by.
I have a window of opportunity. A very small window.
If I blink I will miss it.
I have to not miss it.
I have to get this right.
This is my only chance…..
I need to work really really hard… to make sure I am teaching him all the things I want to teach him, and helping him to be strong and stable ….. with respect for himself and others…… etc etc….. there is so much I want to teach him.
But I need to not freak out. Freaking out is the worst thing I can do…. that won’t teach him anything. I need to set a good example. I need to connect more with him and gain more trust. I need to be able to talk to him more………. and everything. So many things that I have to do… so many things that I have to get right.
Deep breaths…. I can do this.
First thing is first…. which is taking care of myself (not over-indulging myself but taking proper care of myself)
I feel like perhaps I should write an action plan…. but that is likely to set me up for failure, which will make me frustrated and make it all go bad…
I think, I just need to keep this in my mind…. and really focus on my son. Focus on loving him, focus on being his mentor.
Somehow I need to do all this and still chill…. I’m prone to getting stressed and freaked out and yell. Which is not good. Its really not good.
How can I be more chilled? Is there something that I can let go of, that will make me chilled? Is it my fear failure? (Ironically) my fear of messing up my kids…. How can I relax about that, but still do the very best possible job I can do? That’s not something I can just let go of, because I want to keep striving to be a better parent….
I’m going to leave this here for now…. Maybe something will come to me, and I’ll put it in the comments.