So yesterday, I wrote out some peaceful ways of dealing with some of the problems I’d faced that day. I think that’s a good exercise that I would like to continue, and I think it will help me on my journey.
However, I’ve been thinking today, how having strategies up your sleeve is really only half the battle (well, maybe it might be the full battle if these strategies had become habitualised and automatic). Usually what determines how well I deal with a parenting challenge is not my parenting wisdom, but my frame of mind in that very moment. If I’m feeling flustered and anxious, then I’m not going to deal with it very well. If I’m feeling drained, yucky and blah, then I don’t generally deal with it very well. If I’m distracted…… But if I’m feeling good, and energetic, healthy and on top of things, then I generally deal with parenting issues pretty well.
So the key to better parenting, is to feel like that more of the time. I therefore conclude that self-care and attitude are key pieces in the peaceful parenting puzzle.
So I’m going to do a little list of things I can try to do to take care of myself, and another list of keeping in the right frame of mind with the right attitude.
-Don’t drink too much coffee or eat too much junk. Remember to eat 3 proper balanced meals with real food every night. Vegetables. Eat vegetables. And drink lots of water.
-Go to bed before 11. Every. Night.
-Get some exercise in every day. Dancing to music; jumping on trampoline with kids; running with kids; tickle fights?
-Don’t try to do more than I can handle.
-Try as much as possible to be organised, get things ready ahead of time so that I’m not flustered when the time that I need it comes.
-Spend time with people who make me feel good. And do things that make me feel good.
-(a hint from Orange Rhino) Use the words “I’m grateful that…. ” and “At least……..” to stay positive.
-When kids threaten to derail my goals shift my focus to another goal. E.g. instead of focusing on trying to get the house clean and organised; or to get to school on time, focus on being a good mum, trying make the most of a teachable moment, connecting with my children and build positive relationships with them.
-Always remember that my job is to teach…. and any problem that arises is an amazing teaching/learning opportunity. I should be grateful fro these great learning opportunities.