a revelation about anxiety

I think that maybe my anxiety is me running away from pain, running away from judgement, running away from life.   I run because I’m so afraid of pain, I’m so afraid of messing up,  I’m so afraid of judgement (from myself and others), and as a result I am almost always anxious…   and its kind of numbing…..   it’s kind of an addiction, even though I hate it and I just want to relax and enjoy my beautiful children and my beautiful life before it slips away.  Like the lady with the TED talk I referenced in my first post explained, you can’t numb out the bad without also numbing out the good….    and again as I (and Brenne Brown) discussed in my first post, the solution is to embrace it.  Embrace the pain, and embrace my own vulnerability and uncertainty.  And then maybe, just maybe, I won’t have to run any more.

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