Sometimes I feel like I’ve pretty much got this parenting thing worked out… and then it all falls apart.
Sometimes I wake in the morning fully motivated to be an awesome parent…. and then I fly off the handle at the smallest thing. Why? I’m not that stressed or depressed or fragile right now…. Why can’t I handle my little child being a little child?
Lately I’ve been listening and being inspired by Lori Petro at teach-through-love.com. In line with many things she has said, I think I’m just expecting too much. I have this perfect plan of how I’m going to be a perfect parent and we’re going to have a perfect day… my son and I are really going to connect and have some special times together. It’s all so wonderful and perfect in the plan…. and I’m following the plan….. but my son is not… and it makes me so angry. I need to expect that my kids are not going to follow the plan, I need to plan and prepare for problems and challenges and work that into my plan. And sometimes, I need to be able to drop the plan altogether (atleast temporarily) and meet my kids where they are at. (And keep my original plan ready for when the right time presents itself.)
As indicated in my title, I’ve decided to strive to be a strong, steady and secure rock for my son. I think that this right now is what I need more than long lists of complex strategies to manage my kids’ behaviour. When things go wrong for me, I need to show him that I am still secure… I am not going to fall apart. And when things go wrong for him…. when he is having a big massive melt down, I need to show him that I can handle it. I’m not going to loose the plot as well.
I really should meditate more…. I need to constantly remind myself that everything is OK. Everything is OK. No matter how crazy things get….. It’s all OK. Rather than reminding myself, what I really need is to change my mind set from and anxious highly strung mind that is constantly warning me that everything is about to fall apart (if it hasn’t already) to a confident and secure mindset, that tells me everything is OK. Even in what may look like crazy chaos… everything is perfect, everything is exactly as it should be. With that mindset… I can be a rock, solid and stable… not afraid of everything falling apart, desperately desperately trying to hold everything together. Its OK as it is. Really it is fine. Sure, there are problems and there are struggles. But that is as it should be. I embrace problems, I thrive on struggle. These are not my enemies. These are my opportunities. Opportunities to grow, opportunities to teach…….